Back to Reality

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So as of yesterday I have started my life back to reality, first day back to work yesterday. I also work today and tomorrow. Made a vet appointment for friday and I am shaving Toby on Tuesday. My sister now owns our house and I feel like nothing has “changed” but I know it has and I know it will this wont last long. I know mom wont be able to handle the lack of control and having to sit back, thus meaning soon something will happen and mom or Tonya will get mad and there I am going to get the grunt of it. This will happen until mom moves out and I will be moving with her. Things will be different then for sure and I am a little nervous how I will handle it. I havent moved ever and I know a few friends of mine who have quite a few times. Which makes me wonder how this will be, the feeling of nostalgia, the memories, and things like this I mean I still find it very hard to out into reality I no longer have a cottage to go to. I know I cant go there again there isn’t anything I can do. I feel like I dont enjoy life like I used to. I used to be more YAY and gung-ho and now everything is just ehh or meh I’m living the moment. I often feel like with out Toby I’d be alone. I miss feeling the enjoyment the of things. Feeling important, feeling wanted, feeling loved…

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