Friday 9/25

Well, Friday, the day started out well enough. I picked up my friend to drop her off at work, and the drive went well. But then I got to work… and my co-worker was over by the phone going to switch it over for the day and I asked what he was doing and he replied with changing the phones, I jokenly said Its just 8 o’clock now and he didn’t like that. He made a rude comment, then when he got to the kitchen he just snapped and yelled at me telling me I was obnoxious and need to stop questioning what hes always doing because he knows how to do his fucking job because he used to do all the stuff when our GM was out and the secretary was on vaca. He was quite harsh about it.. Which then I immediately started to cry and it preceded to hyperventilate. I said I was sorry and all I wanted to do was help. Now I all I can do is think about how much of a burden I am at work. I can’t seem to do anything right there. Nothing is good there is no time for anything, and I am still wrong. All I want to do is go to work sit in a corner by my self and do my work. Be left alone and then I couldn’t get interrupted or in anyone’s way because I was out of the way. That whole day at work sucked. It made me realize even more how useless I am. I am quite an expendable person really. I really am not needed by anyone the only thing that needs me is Toby every one else can move on can find a replacement. I cant stand my self, how am I to believe that anyone else would want this pathetic soul of a person with them. I’m not funny, not smart (quite often corrected about everything), I have no witty things to say like ever because either am to slow or just not smart enough to understand or make the connection. I need direct orders or I don’t know what you want, shit I don’t even know what I want. I don’t know what else to say other then I am useless piece of shit.


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