So today was a day that was unlike the rest. I have hit a bit day of depression. I have huge in securities and I don’t know what else, they lead into anxiety and some times vise versa, it is all bundled in a big ball of depression and self loathing. I hate that I am over weight. I hate the way I can not comprehend simple reading things. I hate I can not remember show(T.V./ Movie) detail let alone life details. That I suck at organizing. I can not prioritize thing (especially at work; apparently) I don’t see the point in life, in my presents. What is the point of me even still being alive. Why should I be here, stay here, live none the less. It is something I don’t care for.
I say it often and almost every time I talk to someone about my depression, I love Toby he is what keeps me around. He is my Love and my soul purpose for living everyday. He never hurts me he loves me unconditionally and best of all he PICKED ME!!! Out of all the people he could have chosen, it was me i was grassed with the best dog. I have never done anything to really stand out from the rest of my family to have him choose me but he did, and I am thankful. Like I said if he wasn’t so attached to me I don’t know what i would have done the past 10 years of my existence. Toby has been there every time. No matter what i am always good enough and don’t need to prove my self to him. He is always happy to see me, and absolutely my baby.
Well this took a whole different turn then I expected. I still feel like shit but i know Toby is my go to. and I don’t deserve him. I hope you are having a lovely day and that I did not bore you or bring you down in anyway. If so I am sorry, and have a good night.